The sw eet pretty things are in bed now, of co urse
The c ity fathers, they're trying to endorse
The r eincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the to wn has no need to be nervous
The g host of Belle Starr, she hands down her w its
To J ezebel the nun, she violently k nits
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper, who sits
At the h ead of the Chamber of C ommerce
Mama's in the factory, sh e ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's l ookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The hyst erical bride in the penny arcade
Scr eaming, she moans, 'I've just been made'
Th en sends for the doctor who pulls down the shade
And says, 'M y advice is to not let the boys in'
Now the m edicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
'St op all this weeping, swallow your pride
You w ill not die, it's not poison'
Mama's in the factory, sh e ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he 's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the t ombstone blues
Well, John the Baptist, after torturing a thief
Lo oks up at his hero the Commander-in-C hief
Sa ying, 'Tell me, great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?'
The Com mander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fl y
Sa ying, 'Death to all those who would whimper and cry'
An d dropping a barbell, he points to the sky
Saying, 'The s un's not yellow, it's chicken'
Mama's in the factory, sh e ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he 's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
Th e king of the Philistines, his soldiers to save
Pu ts jawbones on their tombstones and flatters their graves
Pu ts the pied pipers in prison and fattens the sl aves
Th en sends them out to the jungle
Gypsy D avey with a blowtorch, he burns out their camps
Wi th his faithful slave Pedro, behind him he tramps
Wi th a fantastic collection of stamps
To win friends and influence h is uncle
Mama's in the factory, sh e ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he 's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the t ombstone blues
The g eometry of innocent flesh on the b one
Ca uses Galileo's math book to get thr own
At Delilah, who's sitting worthlessly alone
Bu t the tears on her cheeks are from l aughter
I wish I could give Brother Bill his great thrill
I would set him in chains at the top of the hill
Then s end out for some pillars and Cecil B. DeMille
He could d ie happily ever after
Mama's in the factory, sh e ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he 's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
W here Ma Rainey and Beethoven once unwrapped a bed roll
Tu ba players now rehearse around the flagpole
And the Na tional Bank, at a profit, sells road maps for the s oul
To the o ld folks home and the college
I wish I could write you a melody so pl ain
That could h old you, dear lady, from going ins ane
That could e ase you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your u seless and pointless knowledge
Mama's in the factory, she ain't g ot no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's l ookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the t ombstone blues
