The sweet pretty things are in be d now, of course
The city fathers, they're trying t o endorse
The reincarnation of Pau l Revere's horse
But the town has no ne ed to be nervous
The ghost of Belle Starr, she ha nds down her wits
To Jezebel the nun, sh e violently knits
A bald wig for Jack the Ri pper, who sits
At the head of the Ch amber of Commerce
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The hysterical bride in the pe nny arcade
Screaming, she moans, 'I've ju st been made'
Then sends for the doctor who pul ls down the shade
And says, 'My advice is to not let the boys in'
Now the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
'Stop all this weeping, swa llow your pride
You will not die, it's not poison'
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
Well, John the Baptist, after to rturing a thief
Looks up at his hero the Co mmander-in-Chief
Saying, 'Tell me, great hero, but ple ase make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?'
The Commander-in-Chief answers him while cha sing a fly
Saying, 'Death to all those who wo uld whimper and cry'
And dropping a barbell, he points to the sky
Saying, 'The sun's not yell ow, it's chicken'
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The king of the Philistines, his so ldiers to save
Puts jawbones on their tombstones and fla tters their graves
Puts the pied pipers in prison and fa ttens the slaves
Then sends them out to the jungle
Gypsy Davey with a blowtorch, he bu rns out their camps
With his faithful slave Pedro, behi nd him he tramps
With a fantastic co llection of stamps
To win friends and in fluence his uncle
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
The geometry of innocent fle sh on the bone
Causes Galileo's ma th book to get thrown
At Delilah, who's sitting w orthlessly alone
But the tears on her ch eeks are from laughter
I wish I could give Brother Bi ll his great thrill
I would set him in chains at the top of the hill
Then send out for some pi llars and Cecil B. DeMille
He could die happily ever after
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
Where Ma Rainey and Beethoven once unwra pped a bed roll
Tuba players now rehearse arou nd the flagpole
And the National Bank, at a profit, sells ro ad maps for the soul
To the old folks hom e and the college
I wish I could write you a me lody so plain
That could hold you, dear lady, from go ing insane
That could ease you and cool you and ce ase the pain
Of your useless and po intless knowledge
Ma ma's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Da ddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I' m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues
